christian faith

The Apology

Since posting "A Daughter's Advice"  I put it on myself to ensure that I apologise to my mum before I leave to return home.  I tell you, the period between the post and the apology was a battle in itself!  It was like dreading to tell someone bad news for fear of how they would react. Except the news I had to tell wasn't bad news, it was meant to be good!

I replayed over in my mind the conversations that I had and tried to recognise triggers for my behaviour.  What I came to realise is that over the years I had made excuses for my behaviour.  While I am grateful for the relationship I have with my parents to speak my mind of which they welcomed, I've realised that my approach has been more disrespectful than not.  My approach has been more about listening to speak rather than listening to hear.  Something my husband learnt when he read an article on communication that taught me a lot and how simple that was. Taking in that simple lesson and reflecting on many conversations over the years with my parents in particular the most recent incident I found that I do exactly that; I listen to speak and not listen to hear my mum's heart.

While it was hurtful to hear my girls' advice.  The reality is - the truth hurts.  But in accepting the truth, it can also bring you peace.  So I left my apology right to the very last minute when we were about to leave.  Leading up to this point, I had the apology played out in my head.  Many times I was tempted to chat with her but knowing my relationship with my mum, timing is everything.  So a last minute apology it was.  

I gave my mum a big hug and said "I'm sorry mum".

My mum hugged me hard, and laughed and said it was okay.  Now, to many that may not be an apology.  But in my family it is enough.  Everyone is different and every family is different.  The only ones that dwell on things in our family is my mum...and me.  Go figure! The females in our family.  But I hugged my mum a few more times and apologised.  It was important for me to do so, so that my girls could witness their mum making amends.  

Before the apology, I had to bring my girls' up to speed (the I'll-tell-you-what-it-was-like-growing-up-but-not-so-that-you-end-up-resenting-nana version) on my relationship with my mum.  They understood but it still didn't justify in their innocent eyes how I behaved.  I love my mum and as I grow older I realise how much of a compassionate heart she has for others.  Because of her compassion I see how much more I am the same.  I, of course, am my mother's daughter.

So the journey to refining my character continues and that journey always begins in the home.

My amazing parents - my dad Polu Aukusitino Poluleuligaga + my mum Puvava Poluleuligaga (nee Matautia-Fea-Salavea)

A REFINING MOMENT

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I had been thinking for some time to revive my personal blog.  In 2010, I was diagnosed with a spinal infection that would lead to paralysis from the waist down.  Thankfully, my doctor had prescribed antibiotics before I began to feel excruciating pain and it had begun to combat the infection.  This condition landed me in hospital for two weeks and off work for four months.  I wasn't the same even a year later and decided to take six months off work to fully recover.  You can find my personal blog here >> The Insights of a Virtuous Woman

I am now into my 20th month as a full-time business woman running three businesses: My Heart Follows Photography, Confetti Love Boutique and Ivy | Photography + Designs.  There have been many highs and equally many lows.  Many lessons learnt and I'm pretty sure many more to come. 

On my second anniversary (1 Oct 2015) as My Heart Follows Photography I'm going to be running a Photography Business workshop for starters or refiners.  So for those looking to start a photography business and for those already started but looking for some new direction or new insight.  They are my refiners.  Refining their business with new perspective and new learnings.

At the end of this month, I'll be speaking at a women's conference at Life City Church, Wainuiomata, Wellington.  The conference is called "She Is...".  I'm pretty excited to join the party as an Elective speaker and holding a workshop on being CREATIVE and what that means to me in my business and in my life and ultimately with God.

So what will people find in this new blog.  Definitely lessons learnt.  Ultimately this blog will help me to process what is going on and how I can refine my craft to bringing my clients quality work and work that is true to my heart and to my vision.  I will share exciting things that are going on in my life and in all areas of it.  Ultimately I'm writing this to inspire others as it re-inspires (that a word?) me in this life :) 

Contemplated on what to call this blog....and decided on "REFINEMENT".  

Definition:  the improvement or clarification of something by making small changes; cultured elegance in behaviour or manner

Living my life and refining it :)

If there is anything that you would like me to write about then comment below would love to hear from you.